Blog # 2
Hey everyone! I'm back again for the second day with a new update and a set of Q&A for anyone who just wants to know. Yesterday I have to say I had a wide range of emotions about being unable to speak. In the end I made several major discoveries and then decided, later on, that it was probably just first day giddiness. However, the only emotion that I thought of having, consistently through the day, was a sort of feeling that can't be described with just one word. It's somewhere in between sobering and enlightening, just a step above enriching but a tiptoe under empowering. It's actually very pleasant to feel, if not particularly enjoyable. I was very content all day, even if I knew I was getting on someone's nerves. It made me feel good to know that, through a less obnoxious, verbal method I was learning to come out of my shell in a more positive manner to people. I figured out that, without the spoken word, it's very hard to get around in daily life.
One thing I learned about not speakng is that it's a very honest method. In only a day I figured out that, to be even half as effective as I am at speaking aloud through silence I must decensor my brain tio translate directly through my hands. Talking is, in my experience, a tenth thinking and the rest talking yourself into saying something different. This continues until you just stop thinking at all before talking, saying stupid stuff. At least that's the way it is for me. If I want to learn anything from this vow I gotta make sure that I don't talk myself out of things before I put them on paper. Paper is held in a bnit higher esteem than the spoken word too, especially if you see someone thinking of just how to put it down in written words. Makes me feel good, makes them feel good too, it seems.
I also seemed to get a bit braver yesterday. Instead of looming on the MAX going home from downtown I sat next to people and tried, actively, to talk with them. I handed my little slips of paper with this blog site on it and the title and my name. A lot of people who I had been very aware to discomfort within them earlier eased up immediately at this. No, I'm not trying to be creepy, I just won't talk.
Some people respect my vow greatly. Some have already made up their minds that they will, in fact, just make fun of it and not bother to see anything else in this than something to make fun of. Some people just think it's something that is. All are correct answers!
Lastly, I've gotten a lot closer, even in this one day, to my friends, than I think I have ever gotten to them before. I am listening to themn instead of trying to make myself seem better in their eyes.